The film was short, black-and-white, and presented to a film school seminar for critique and appraisal.  The film-maker and star was understandably nervous because this was his first effort, and he was anxious that it be taken by the audience as a serious effort.

The film opens as the young man gets out of bed and helps himself to a beer from the fridge as his substitute breakfast.  He brushes his teeth, then rinses with the beer.

The audience breaks into laughter, but the film-maker mutters, "It's not supposed to be funny."

As the story continues, the young man takes a desultory walk, but his solitude goes beyond alone-ness, somehow, so that the audience--even though they may not yet realize it--feel his alienation, his isolation, his loneliness and apart-ness from not only others in the film but others in the audience.

In the final scene, the young man sits on the sofa, surveying a coffee table laden with empty beer bottles.  He reaches for a semi-automatic handgun and suddenly rams it into his mouth.

The camera breaks for a view of the table while, horrifyingly, the sound of a gunshot echoes and blood splatters over the table.

The movie ends.

The enthusiastic film-school kids rush to slap the young film-maker on the back and to tell him how good the short film was and how he seems to demonstrate a gift for the craft.

This pleases him, because he had been worried.  He goes home to a house he shares with half a dozen other young people, sits down, and tells the camera that he is glad they liked his movie because now he knows this is something he can do with his life.

But unless you'd been watching the program, MTV's "Real World: Brooklyn," from the beginning, you would not know that the young clean-cut man named "Ryan," is actually a combat vet.  He'd been deployed to Iraq   with the army's 101st Airborne Division for more than a year, had completed his enlistment commitment with the army, and had chosen to apply to the "Real World" program as his first foray into civilian life.

Which makes the short film he produced that much more disturbing, a point which was not lost on his roommates.

They had attended the screening, of course, to show their support for their friend, but they hadn't really stopped to think--not REALLY--what the true cost of war can be for the men and women who are called upon to fight it.  The guy they'd goofed around with for several weeks at that point, pranking, clubbing, hanging out--had just revealed to them, however indirectly, the depths of his depression and anxiety following his combat deployment.

And it brought them--and their viewing audience--up short.

One of his roommates, a pretty girl named Baya, told him later that night that she found the fact that he had actually been to Iraq "surreal."

Now, I'm not knocking this young woman, for the simple reason that she just expressed what most of the members of her generation--really, of ALL OF US--think about Iraq and Afghanistan veterans we may encounter.

Do you realize what a national SHAME that is?

Think about it.

This country has been at war now for SEVEN YEARS, six of them spent in Iraq.

SEVEN YEARS.

To a young person of 21, which is about Baya's age, this represents ONE-THIRD OF HER LIFE.  For one-third of her life, our military servicemembers have been fighting two terrible wars, and yet, to her--to most of us--the whole thing is "surreal."

Thanks to the fact that the president who immersed us into two wars in the first place asked nothing of the rest of us but that we go shopping and continue to visit such hotspots as Disneyworld, then it has fallen to LESS THAN ONE-HALF OF ONE PERCENT OF OUR POPULATION to fight these wars over and over again in a nightmarish Groundhog Day scenario.

And for our young friend Ryan, the second day was about to begin.

In the episode following, which covers the presidential election week, Ryan tells the camera that he will be voting for Barack Obama because, "If he ends the war in Iraq, then maybe I won't have to go back."

His roommates are confused by this because they thought he was out of the army.  He had to explain to them about the Individual Ready Reserve, in which, after you have completed your active-duty service, you are still committed for several more years to the armed services, which means that they can "recall" you at any point during that period of time.

They hadn't realized that, either.  It just makes me sad that so many people remain unaware of that little clause in the contract that can force a young person back to war even when they have completed their service to their country and are busy rebuilding their civilian life.

Most of the roommates are also pro-Obama--which tracks pretty much with the national vote-count--but a couple of the guys are Republican.  They tend to speak of John McCain in hushed tones and to refer to all soldiers and Marines as "heroes."

After the election and subsequent celebrations, Ryan receives an invitation to march in the Veteran's Day parade with the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America organization, and to attend their party afterward.  He is honored by this and pays a visit to their offices, where he learns how they have fought for all sorts of things on behalf of the veterans of those wars, including the new G.I. Bill, extended testing and benefits for the war's signature injury, Traumatic Brain Injury, and better after-service care for those veterans who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Ryan is impressed by the scope and heft of the group, and he enjoys marching in his very first veteran's parade.  At the party afterward, he happily runs into one of his buddies from the army.

Most of Ryan's roommates have also attended the party, at his invitation, and while he is across the room, his buddy tells them what a fine warrior Ryan had been in Iraq, the commendations and ribbons he had been awarded, and tells them that they will always be safe with Ryan around.

For perhaps the first time--even counting the day they saw the movie--Ryan's roommates realize not just the cost he has paid to serve his country, but the reality of it in terms of his own service.

In individual remarks before the cameras, they call him a "hero" and marvel at how they never realized before that he'd been decorated for his service.  The war came front and center to them, and they all began to behave a bit differently around him.

One young man particularly moved by this is a naive but earnest fellow named Chet, who comes from a Mormon background and has therefore led a much more...shall we say...virtuous...life than many of his roommates.  He is absolutely dazzled by Ryan's achievements and begins to follow Ryan around like an adoring puppy dog.  Ryan is very kind and patient toward the younger man, treats him seriously and even begins to enjoy having him around somewhat.

So Ryan happens to be alone in the house with Chet when the phone call comes.

Ryan's brother informs him that he has received an official letter from the army, and that he is being recalled back into active-duty service for one purpose and one purpose only--to re-deploy to Iraq.

Ryan is so stunned by this news that he thinks his brother is kidding and asks repeatedly if it's true--really true--and when his brother says, "Dude, Mom and Dad couldn't call you with this.  They couldn't bring themselves to do it.  They were going to wait until you got home but I thought you'd want to start preparing yourself."

Both of Ryan's brothers are in the army as well.  Unlike his civilian roommates, they KNOW what this means.

It means no film school for the fall, which had been Ryan's intent.  It means probably losing his girlfriend, who barely made the harrowing first deployment and who, Ryan thinks, will fall to pieces at the news that there is to be another one.

He staggers around the large over-priced MTV loft in a state of complete shock before his legs give out on him and he plops down onto the couch next to Chet, where he suddenly puts his face into his hands and breaks down into sobs.

Now, no one watching this program would for one minute accuse this young man of cowardice.  As he makes clear almost immediately--he is trained as a warrior; it's his job and he does it well.  He will step up, as he did before, and he will do his duty.

But it sure feels like crap.

The news hits the roommates like a sledgehammer.

Suddenly, the war is RIGHT THERE, in their living rooms.

In their hearts.

It was something they never really had to think of before, not really.  There were video games they could play, where they could pretend to be fighting bad guys in Fallujah.  There were movies they could watch where other people pretended to fight bad guys in Fallujah.

But they didn't know anybody who would actually BE fighting insurgents in Iraq.

They are all heartsick for their friend because they knew he had plans, and that now those plans are wrecked.  Nobody knows how to act around him, what to say or do.

Over the course of the next episode, Ryan tries to deal with this iceburg that has struck the ship of his life.  He tells the guys he rooms with that he's going to "have to get my head in the game," and recruits a couple of them to go to the gym with him and help him start getting back into the kind of shape he'll need to be in for war.

He tells the camera that he's got to get himself mentally prepared, and to start thinking back in those terms again.

It's a whole other world, the world of war.  It takes a whole other mindset, a whole other skillset, to survive.  Like Ryan pointed out once, the skills he drew on when deployed before were second nature to him because he was active-duty and highly trained.  But he's been out of that environment for months now, and he's rusty.

You can't go to war with rusty skills.

But even as he prepares himself for the shock of army re-entry, he can't bring himself to tell his girlfriend.  She's in college, and every time he calls, she regales him with stories about all the exams she's taking and how stressed she is.  He doesn't want to worry her.  So he keeps this cataclysmic event to himself.

Chet and the others can't stop themselves from looking at Ryan like he's a dead guy.  He could be in the near future, after all, and the truth of that is hitting home pretty hard.

WHY HADN'T THEY THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE?

This is MY howl. 

Why don't we ALL think of that?

I was once lectured by my brother about how many churches and classes were doing projects for soldiers, sending Care packages and the like, as proof of how engaged the country is in "supporting the troops."  I was too exhausted by my own son's two combat deployments by then to point out the cold brutal fact that in every instance of which I am aware, Care-package drives and the like, there is always, always, at some point near the epicenter-- a military family.

SOMEONE who started that drive has a family member who is either deployed or has been.  ONLY THEY know just how hard these deployments have been on military families, and in nearly every instance, it is a small coterie of like-minded people who are directly touched by the war who get the ball rolling, even if it's just, say, a church family.  Many volunteers join in--don't get me wrong--but it is very rare to see such an effort spearheaded by someone who has not either deployed themselves or are married to veterans or who have warriors in their families.

The rest of us don't think about it that much.

In fact, it never ceases to amaze me when I see pundits and pontificators claim that Michelle Obama needs to get herself "a signature cause."

The thing is, she already HAS.  Even during the campaign, she has done everything in her power to draw the country's attention to the plight of military families and to do whatever she can to improve their lives, but it seems that even then, people don't pay much attention unless they know someone in the military.

Which, I might point out, means that very few pundits, pontificators, or politicians will take notice. After all, it's not THEIR kids...is it?  Not often, anyway.

So.  I repeat.  The country is not at war.  The U.S. military is.

Around the MTV loft, the kids are in quiet awe of Ryan.  He's a hero to them.

And this is where I have a real problem.

You see, every single member of that household was young, vital, and healthy.  Those very bright young men who voted for John McCain are just the right age to step up THEMSELVES, but I didn't see a single member of that household offering to volunteer to go fight themselves.

As long as you can set servicemembers apart in your mind as "heroes," then somehow that makes them SUPERIOR to you and me, made of sterner stuff somehow, exalted, like something out of a comic book.

Ohhh, I COULD NEVER, goes the thought process.  THOSE GUYS ARE HEROES.  I'm just a lame-old regular nerd-person.  I'd never be able to hack it.

As many of my readers know, I come from a proud military family who, at one time, had five immediate family members who were active-duty, three of whom had deployed to Iraq, and the other two to Afghanistan.  And all those who were too old to be active-duty, were themselves, veterans.

And yet I have never once heard any soldier or Marine EVER refer to himself or herself as a HERO.

Soldiers and Marines are professionals.  Soldiering is their JOB.  No one on the face of this planet does it better.  But ask any one of them you encounter any place doing anything and they will tell you point-blank that they are not only NOT heroes, but that they are uncomfortable being referred to as such.

This is because combat vets, to a man or woman, have all encountered REAL heroes in wartime.  Each and every one can recount to you the story of a man or a woman they knew who risked his or her life for their fellow soldiers and Marines, or to take out a nest of enemy troops, or who gave up their lives in the effort.

THOSE are the true heroes, to the troops who have known them.  I have spoken to MEDAL OF HONOR winners who steadfastly refuse to refer to their own accomplishments as heroic.  Why?  Because they came home alive.

Ryan, engaging and courageous as he may be, is no more heroic than any other young man or woman who shares the MTV loft.  Every single one of those kids could step up and do what he did and what he is doing right now.  (He was due to redeploy this month, with a Stryker brigade.)

As Ryan's friends awkwardly tried to help him forget, by taking him to Atlantic City, it was clear that, for a soldier who has been recalled, there IS NO forgetting.  It was clearly in his mind, behind his eyes, a part of his soul every moment of his life after he got the phone call from his brother.

Back home after a lackluster trip to the casino, Ryan looked up his official orders online and showed his roommates what a Stryker vehicle was, since they did not know.

But all this time, you can't forget the short film at the beginning of the series.  This was a young man who was suffering from depression, alienation, and anger, and he was not even going to be allowed the time to sort through those feelings and maybe even get help from such groups as the IAVA, before he was yanked back into war.

By the final episode, Ryan has accepted his lot and says he's ready to step up.  He tells an old army buddy that he will be re-deploying with a unit that has never deployed.  "I figure if something I can show someone, or something I can do, can save a life because I was there and could draw on my experience, then I will have served my purpose."

Still, he gets into a barfight.  Aided and abetted by his MTV friends, but still, the anger and depression are right there, simmering beneath the surface.

His friends present him with a going-away gift--a journal.  One of the guys tell him to write down all his film ideas, "And then, when you get back, you'll be ready to go.  You won't have to wait for ideas to come to you."

Each member of the household has written a letter to him within the pages of the journal.  He is touched, and it shows.

But in the final episode, the reality of the world inhabited by a man who has served in combat and who is about to do so again comes into stark, sharp focus.

On the night before everyone is due to leave, the girls decide to prank all the guys, to get revenge on the guys for pranks they've played in the past.  But the pranks become mean, and one guy who has tried to stay out of the whole thing gets unfairly blamed by the girls, which causes an enormous argument between all the roommates.

Ryan gets the last word, as he finally shouts at the girls, "Right now, I need to be thinking about ONE THING.  Getting my head in the game!  Getting focused on things that are REAL.  I need to be totally worried about getting my head focused SO THAT I DON'T DIE!  I don't need to be worried about this petty little bullshit..."

It's ironic, isn't it?  The program is called, "Real World."

But to a young soldier, there is only one thing in this life that is real:  STAYING ALIVE.  Keeping their buddies alive.

All the drama, all the bickering, all the nonsense that takes up what passes for real life these days, all the ridiculous American Idol "reality," is, to the soldier or Marine of today, completely UNREAL.

They come home and are greeted by an increasingly silly population, most of whom have no idea just how precious each and every moment of their lives should really be.

Ryan's rage at his clueless roommates is just a microcosm of the way all these guys feel each and every day they are walking around in the civilian world.

As my son said about his civilian job, "I can look at the photograph on my desk of me and my buddies in front of the Blackwater Bridge in Fallujah, and I can think, Gee, this lady cussed me out at work today but hey, at least she wasn't shooting at me."

It's time that we, the collective American WE, stepped up and did our parts.  We don't all have to serve in the military, but the least we could do is stop treating those who do like they are somehow alien creatures apart from the rest of us.

Reach out.  Offer one a beer.  Give him or her a job if you're looking to fill one.  Tell him you appreciate his service, and then go out of your way to make him a part of your world.

Make it real for him, or for her.  Make it real.

Update:  I would like to thank The Real World producers and camera crew for going out of their way to portray the reality of civilian life for combat vets, for highlighting the fine work of the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America and the Iraq Vets Against the War, and for drawing attention to this terribly important issue of our times.